New writing style and another rant about love...you know...cause' I'm a girl.

So I started this blog to just write poems and mushy stuff like that. It's been two years of inconsistent writing. Mainly because, I was lazy and I hate this blog post page, its so bland. It the background color was pretty, I'd be more inspired to write (and nobody tell me that we can change the color when typing because I'd feel really stupid and I wont like that very much)

Anyways, I decided that I wanted to change my writing style and not be so careful in what I type. I mean I know its the internet but it is my thoughts, why should I edit them? I do that enough in real life (well I don't) but I want to CUT all the editing out and just speak my damn mind.

That brings us to our topic of the night:
Unconditional Love....AWWWWWWW my damn ass.

Now, for some days this thought has been stuck in my head; "One day, way into the future, I hope you are able to define 'unconditional love' ...you'll know why.' "
Now feel free to quote me on that because I MADE IT UP
But it sounds so mushy and weak that I feel so sick to my stomach a person can make me feel that and I gotta wait till they grow the eff up to figure out that I unconditionally love them.
Sometimes I just wanna put that person on an island for 6 months and starve them from sex. It would kill them, or injure them greatly. BUT OMG is love that worthless in our society today that sex becomes of great value? I mean I get it, its good but OMFG (and feel free to say the whole thing coz I am)
I just want an escape avenue right now, maybe go to a little island and become a Kindergarten teacher or maybe pick shells up on a seashore and make jewelery. Hmmm, that would actually be nice. But anyways, I hope everyone has an awesome night :D
Nope...not bipolar just easily distracted.

What does a camera say?

To me:
A camera captures the true essence of a moment (if the angle is correct)
It's the editing that spoils it all!
So I wanted to share w u a picture that I would NEVER EVER have posted anywhere because I described it as "So Ugly, its cute" thing is, I feel like this picture often--lol and I always want to be "mature" about the content I post but frick it. Haha. I am 19 and I refuse to act like a fouty-four year old named Shawn so this is me, posting a pic that I might regret in the upcoming years, or I might be like "Who else had the guts to do that to themselves?" 

This is me inviting you all....to be real with what the camera captures...No judgement. (except nudity, you will be judged for that) haha 

 

Behold! Miracle of Olive oil

Elo guys,
Yes, it has indeed been long. Go ahead throw rotten eggs at me--actually---throw em at your screens..JK DONT DO THAT!
So for this blog post, I will just talk about ONE product that I have been loving for this past couple months.

Firstly: EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL

This product is seriously the best thing that has happened to womankind. Not only is it good for your health because it controls LDL (which is "Bad cholesterol") but it raises the "good cholesterol" level. It's good for preventing heart diseases and works against the formation of gallstones in the bladder.
APART from the Medical benefits---the EXTRA VIRGIN olive oil, which is the purest, most unprocessed olive oil contains a heaping amount of vitamin E--you know what this means? It means...its good for your hair!
I use olive oil as a deep conditioner for my hair, so I would rub a dallop of olive oil in my hair on saturday night, and leave it in all night and then I would wash it on sunday and use a hair masque, also after washing hair it is important to put in a leave-in conditioner treatment. Another alternative way--is putting it in your hair one hour before washing--I just think the all night way works best for my hair type. Not only does it make my hair feel soft and healthy but also it keeps it frizz free and I have been suffering from frizz all my life.

Another great way to use olive oil is as a make-up remover. You know those cotton squares? Grab one of those pick up a bit of olive oil on it and wipe away your make-up frm your eyes--and voila! All gone but be careful---oil clogs pores and can cause you to break out.

A friend told me about this tip: but I havent really tried it but if u run out of lathering lotion to shave, jus rub some olive oil on ur legs and it works just the same, also it makes sense because olive oil contains Vit E which soothes--and on alot of shaving lotions---they contain vitamin E..
I hope these tips help a little..my fav use for olive oil is def. for my hair! I love and swear by it.

Keep reading because this wkend I will be working on a fashion post of that "Typical Black dress" and ways to style it depending on the occasion
and i am also planing to do a "back to school hair-do" post...so keep reading guys
xoxo
Mwahhh!

Random Ranting about stuff ---Basically, LOVE.

Right Now, I'm listening to a song by Shabba Ranks and Krystal.
It's about a woman in love w a man twice her age.

Often times, we love for very wrong reasons. We love someone because they are beautiful and we overlook their flaws because they are beautiful. That's wrong. Well, I think so. We should love someone because they complete us, and make us feel stuff that no friend, no family, no stranger can make us feel. I am very grateful that I was always taught this, so I found love in all the good places, I met the most amazing people. I don't think I have been "In love" alot but I have always grown to love the guys in my life, later as friends. People that I cared about and would hang out with because they make me happy. I am in no way claiming that they all possess the ability to make me happy now, but they definitely are guys that I can talk to. ANYTIME. And they would be there for me all the time, and thats an inner beauty that tops any angel smile, dimples, nice eyes, great lips etc. First thing to look for in a person: INNER BEAUTY. And inner beauty is something you should see before the outward beauty appears.

We love for material things. No self respecting woman should expect anything materialistic from any man. Expect his love, his trust, his faithfulness forget his car, his money, his house. How can you find love in those things? They don't build a stronger bond, and we need that spiritual bond before we can love someone. I'm not saying that you met him poor and because he decided to stay poor all his life, be ok w it. NO. but then again, poor is relative, but ALWAYS look for a guy w ambitions, if he is rich and has NO ambitions, he's not a keeper and likewise, if he is poor and has NO ambitions, ditch him NOW. Or spend a lifetime changing him. People without dreams have NOTHING in my mind. 

We love people for their names. Because his family name is prestigious, we decide to love him, coz we are those kinds of people that want to climb the social ladder, how you gon go and use someone like that? thats si deceptive. I can't rate yuh. Have enough confidence to DO IT YOURSELF. It WILL be hard, but if you want something bad enough, there is NOTHING you can't do, trust me, dont give up. 

Love a guy to hurt someone. Obviously, thats not love and we are only deceiving ourselves and toying with people's emotions. DON'T DO THIS!

Love to me means:
-Being able to sacrifice for him
-Always wanting the BEST for him, even when you are not the best.
-Even if you're hurt, smile when he smiles, coz you know if he knws ur hurt, he wont be able to smile. 
-Being able to laugh with him
-Being able to be honest with him, even if you're not honest w yourself.
All the little things make you love someone, not the money or the beauty or the name or the clothes or w/e other reasons...its the little things

Like getting a text from him, when he's not a "texter person"
Like, him watching a total girly flick w u...infront his friends
Like, him smiling with those cute dimples that make u wanna walk to the caf to buy him chocolates, coz he asked so nicely and you lost when u played "rock, paper. scissors" haha
Like him falling asleep on the fone even though he knows u hate it, but he just wanted to talk to u so badly, that tiredness took over and he tried so hard. 
Its all the little things he does, randomly bursting into song lol

If the little things irritate you, then he/ she is not the one for you. You don't love him. So just let him go..but if it's the little things is what you can't live without...hold on to him for dear life...

"I am in love." 

Ok guys...gdnight now! 
Muwahhh!!   

Finally, an update

Dear Readers,
I know I haven't updated in such a long time, but to everyone that has a blog with a life knows that, well, sometimes life is more interesting.

Firstly, I did Summer School. Someone punch me now. Worst idea of the year. It was dreadful. I like school but ugh, getting up that early to do Stats and Critical Reading Review was TORTURE! I twist my ears never EVER EVER to do summer school again, no matter my rush to finish school.
Good thing I had my important people in that class to get my through and make me laugh constantly, and not to mention PASS. I am dreadful in Stats but still ended up w a B+ Holla! all coz my friends practiced constantly and of course, help me w all the assignments. I'm embarassed to admit that i probably copied down 65% of the assignment work. My brain was on Shut down mode after the Spring semester ended.

I went Carriacou this summer, for the FIRST time, its nothing to report but a small island, that you would see in those creepy horror movies, where everyone is friendly but they all turn out psycho, in this case, they all turned out drunk. It was a good experience though, the boat ride was my favourite, I felt like Rose from Titanic, all i needed was Leonardo DiCaprio (one day...)

Carnival, it was superrrr fun. I mean, I was planning to play jouvert (google is your best friend if you dont knw wht jouvert is :P) but ummm, due to some shots taking...I ended up...in my house, unconscious, and had a memory blackout. Yes people, worst than Sandblast...eeeks. Good thing there wasnt any stage.

I played monday night mass which was uber fun :) I have a yearly tradition now :)

I registered for school yesterday and now im freaking sick! Sore throat and a cold, I blame dancing in the rain (which I would probably do all over)

Steffane Moments of the Season:
I of course, Ripped my pants for monday night...it wasnt obvious, but...yikes!
I am pretty sure, when i was drunk, I fell coz now my head hurts.
A guy kept stepping on me, and he cause a shot shot on my toe.
I accidently broke our fridge.
More stuff but I cant remember...

What I learnt this summer:
Everyone holds on to what they love, we may never understand why a person cant let go of a friend, a boyfriend, an EX- boyfriend, a relative or whoever...and its not our place to judge anyone. We shoould just all accept that some things are too painful to let go of, so if you cant let go of an ex, dont stress it...YET. If you can't let go of a relative (deceased), dont stress it...YET.
If after a year, you still cant let go, consider therapy.

What is meant to be, will always be. If a relationship changes, its for the best but NEVER give up on something that you love too soon, coz often times, people just want to see how much they are worth fighting for.

You must have a best friend, you must have someone to tell everything too, coz then you're left all bottled up and you would turn red inside...and you may die.

Trust people, often times, if given a chance, people have the best intentions!

Stop judging people. Just love everyone.

Make a special effort to bond w someone who doesnt understand you, because face it, you're a great person, that's why you've never changed, show someone that side of you. Forget what others say.

Do a good deed everyday. Karma also means...good for good ;)
Plus the universe is watching!

Ok guys, enough of my rambling... :) cya!

My dayyy :)

Dear Readers,

Today was a very special day. I think I passed a hurdle. See, recently I was going through some very tough times and I acted very out of character. I was afraid of losing someone. This week though, something a dear friend of mine said; "If you're ever sad, you never show it." I realized it was true. When I get sad, I only call on those people I trust enough to see me cry otherwise I conceal my sadness (and this is NOT being fake, I hate passing negative energy on and would avoid doing it as often as I can control my feelings) anyways, at the end I learned that you don't lose people. Some come and some go, yes so what? the important people NEVER leave. They transform from best friend to just friend, crush to friend, ex-brother-in-law to friend, boyfriend to just friend. All because these people care about you enough to remain in your life. I am grateful that I have atleast five people I can call at any time and cry a river and they would be there for me. When we get hurt, we avoid anything that can cause pain again but I am not that type. I have picked the pieces up and Im glad I made a friend throughout it all. 

PS. sorry for ranting. 

On a fun note: 

I enjoyed this day throughly coz i woke up with a great mood ready to take over the world and in my head; I did.

Things that make me happy tag! :)

My superficial things: 

-My retractable eyeliner (which I'm out of coz my sister stole it *sad*)

-Shampoo! (I feel so incomplete w/o a full shampoo and conditioner set)

-Leave in hair conditioner (any kind, my fav would be Paul Mitchell's Tea tree leave in conditioner)

-Oh my closet...sometimes I get sad and just putting together an outfit would take my mind off the things that make me sad and it changes my mood.

-Books; this weekend, I read two books. One I've been dying to read (it was mentioned in a movie I saw and I've been itching to read it since). It's called "Love Story" By Eric Segal. It was a typical. Nothing that would make me cry. (well it was supposed to but I made a pact with myself that NOTHING would make me cry).

Non-superficial things:

Sorry to disappoint but family or friends are not on the list. I have people that care about me but only with their own selfish reasons. I know, No woman is an island and I could not survive without people but frankly I'm learning to be on my own and its truly a great feeling to just be your own friend. Its vital to love yourself before you can love anyone else. And that is what I am working on (btw...I have always loved myself). So the only one non-superficial thing I love is being alone. (NO, this is NOT depressing!) Its just that I appreciate more things without any influences. I love being able to be lost in my thoughts.

Best knowledge at the moment...sadly :(

My April Favs

So I've been MIA for a while..
Only coz i had finals :) and got great grades! excepting Literature which i got a B+ in :(

So here are my April Favs:

Midnight Blue by Revlon (nail polish)
Big coloured hoops
Desperate housewives
Gummi worms


....and thts about it, very boring. Hoping to post more coz i iz on my summer break!! :)

My favs for March

My favorites for the month of March:

1. Scope instead of listerine; I found that listerine burns wayyy more!!

2. Loving Sunsilk deep conditioning treatment for long hair and the leave in smoothing creme

3. Curls :)

4. Onion rings!!!

5. My literature class

6. Nudity (my own lol) 

7. Revlon colorstay black eyeliner (Liquid and retractable pencil) 

8. My Boyfriend <3 

  

Things I love for this January

1. Im loving Sally Hansen's nail polish in nude.
2. Hytop's Chocolate ice cream
3. My Dereon Jeans
4. Big earrings!
5. Reese Witherspoon's Bloom (smells like sweet mornings)
6. My two silver rings.
7. My boyfriend :)

Been gone so long

So Happy New Year's everyone! Its 2010!!! Yay! 

What's been up with me? 

School. School started on Jan. 18th for me. I've been having some awfully hectic days and my cyber life is beginning to suffer. I have figured out how to manage my days though =) 

I had to test run this schedule firstly though; and that I did. Mondays; I finish school at freaking 9 o' clock (so happy) So I have a day to spend with someone... that will be my SOCIAL life's day. Tuesday; Im busy as a bumblebee so I will jus reserve this day for school and nothing else. Wednesdays; This will be MY day...I will splurge on something that I wanted at the beginning of the week and go home early and relax in a nice bubble bath. Thursdays are the mirror image to tuesdays so that will also have to be strictly school. Fridays! Are gonna be Rifa's days ...She doesn't have school, so we'll definitely do something and on the weekends I will make sure I go out atleast every three weeks least i end up with the sudden urge to blow my freaking brains out one morning. One the wkends I stay in; I will use this time to catch up on my favourite tv shows and youtube stuff. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd thats about it.

Im thinking of starting to work out...needa tone some areas; my butt and arms lol

411

411
Xmas eve sucked! Lol...It wasnt THAT awful..
My friend Rifa and I ended up walking down the Lane !!
It was freaking Awfullllll lol...I would NOT bring that story up EVER again in my life!
Uhhh We were saved by Darryl =)
The night wasnt soo bad, there were the high points but I've had better xmas eve (s)

Xmas felt like a sunday!
Boxing day was much more fun as My sis, Myself and Rifa went out.
Sunday feels like a lame-ass day...I should've gone to church!
Maybe next sunday.... =)

Uhh well thats about it...the xmas i wanted...i didnt get  =(
Oh well...

So I decided to do another blog today, seeing that I have alot to get off my chest..

Firstly, My family and friends who read my blog are demanding that I do a list of stuff they can actually get here in Grenada, so here goes:
1. Lipstick by Revlon - Nude attitude
(You can find that in Gittens)
2. L'oreal Beauty tubes Mascara
(You can find that in Duty Free Caribbean in the Esplanade mall)
3. Any Beauty Rush products with Vanilla !
(You can find this upstairs in a store called Bath and Body works at Bruce Street mall)
4. Coloured Toe rings
(I saw some really cute ones in Lisa's Jewellery)

Now as you can all see I'm a BIG fan of beauty products so surprise me..

But really I dont want anything (just so u guys know) I just want to have a merry xmas with lots of food but its not turning out that way at all! Everything and Everyone is so hostile...Ughhh. At home, my mom is ruining the christmas spirit with her constant bickering and my sister is also because she is so rude! My brother and I are trying so hard (god bless him) although his singing annoys me!!
My dad isnt big on traditions and celebrating xmas so i lose his support there. Its time like these that makes me miss Guyana and my grandma. Anyways I still will keep hope up high to have a merry christmas. But its hard to do that when your heart is freakin breaking...coz you cant and dont wnat to give up on people you care about and can possibly love.

My Xmas Wishlist

These are all things that I would not go out and purchase myself, coz for those of u that knws me, you would know that the minute i see something i like i go out and get it!

Of course I want world peace :) haha
These are just some things that would make life a bit brighter =D

Christian Louboutins = Effin awesomest shoes on the planet!                                          

There are some boots that Fergie wore in the opening of the Victoria's secret fashion show this year that would make me droool if I had them but unfortunately they are too much of a fashion statement to make here in La Grenade!

OMG I want this so bad (I hope my dad sees this) lol...My favourite word if I had this would be 'Cheese' Its such a baby! I love it!!!!! i <3 uuu!!! Rawrr!!

 I really really want to do this to my hair! But I might be getting this since my dad promised me and all ;)

Hmmmm...What else do I want?

My AHS school ring that my mother promised over a year now! lol but its me the lazy booty that wont go and get it!

Uhhh....More clothes would definitely NOT kill anyone, it would infact make me freaking happy.

My letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I've been good, now I want to be naughty...Please send me a man.

                                                                      Lots of love

                                                                      Steffane!

Ahahahah =)

DISCLAIMER : My letter to Santa was only for fun, Im single by choice =)

Anything else?

Hmmmmmmm Nope thats about it ;)

Hoping for a Merry Xmas xoxo

Sun 13th Dec.

Sunday Dec 13th
This day is going to be long and lousy, I can tell.
You wake up at 10 o' clock with an 'Okay' dream and you wonder if it has any meaning. Then you psych yourself out...above that you are now confused with your love life. Your annoying brother just becomes more of an asshole as the months goes by (you love him and you hate him) Before the love, you think of ripping him apart till he can no longer bleed i.e he's dead, you think that will make the world a better place :) then you smile at what you are thinking and all the hatred and anger disappears until you hear someone calling your name; the annoyance returns.

Its J's Bday. I've known him for quite sometime now; since he was 15, he's now 19...:)
Happy birthday J.

Xmas cleaning was a blast yesterday...I look forward to more cleaning. I think I'll start cleaning my room today..I need to clean out my closet. Get some new clothes (fingers crossed).

Happy day =D Smile lots and dont be bitter like K...and his lion Don ;)

My new fav things...

Cosmo is my addiction!
Its so interesting it really isn't funny how quickly one can be addicted to a magazine :)
I'm so glad though because according to their horoscope, all Geminis are gonna have a GREAT January! (Im a Gemini *giggle*)

My BB n IPOD means life to me!
Well the BB is self-explanatory bcuz ANY phone means life! Lol
My friend said "Blackberrys are the mark of the beast" ahaaahaa, I was a little tempted to go investigate and find something demonic about BBs but No, tht would mean me giving up my BB, and no thxs to THAT offer.
My ipod screen broke :( well not so dramatic...but its now tainted! I still luff it bad though (yes i knw) coz last night, i forgot it home (well left it home) and on my drive back home...I missed it sooooo bad! I subbed with my brother's PSP but that was NOT as satisfying!

XMAS!
Geez, I can feel the season in the air! and I 100% LOVEEEEEEEE it!
Im the one that will be cleaning our home and decoration and all tht crud.
I just have to wait until my parents do grocery-shopping for this week (hopefully tnight we do tht) so i can get glass cleaner (we're out lol) and other stuff to make this house SPICK and SPAN.
Today i think I will giving my room a make-over! (AGAIN) I just get really bored with this room really quickly so its vital for changes to be made almost EVERY week!
Anyways back to xmas...i realised that our family does not have regular traditions like the ones we would have back in Guyana.
In guyana, all our families would come over to my grand-mothers home, the men would be busy putting up tents and buliding stuff for them to chill while the ladies would all be cooking some amazing food! While the kids were playing, my teenage male cousins were in charge of drinks and ice cream whilst the girls would be in charge of desserts...:D
And in Grenada...we dont reallly have much family members and my parents are busy working for xmas so...me and my mom would stay up on xmas eve decorating the house so when my brother and sister n dad wakes up, its XMAS! But im takin ctrl this yr and i would be decorating :)
Im so eager to get my gloves on and start scrubbing and cobwebbing lol
I think ill be doing a whole lotta baking coz i jus want one traditional xmas, u knw?
Where there are stockings and the scent of freshly baked cookies and a xmas tree and xmas present and santa!
I cant wait to get married and have my perfect Christmas! (for the record, im only 18...im not engaged or anything..im single...I think)

Single life?
Hmmm...this can go! lol

And thts about it...:)

Okie dokie :
So I haven't really updated in a while...hear goes
BTW this is gonna be longgg!

So I've been busy with finals...and man am i glad they are done! I didnt think the exams itself were horrible but the projects and assignments just crept up on me. I had two presentations and one went absolutely PERFECT! My group got an 'A' but we lost three marks for ummm i dnt rmbr but ye and then the other one...ok here is the story:

So we got there, tried our powerpoint and it worked perfectly well...then it was our time to present and there were some technical difficulties, it took a while and everyone was getting sorta impatient but most of all Mr. Glean (our lecturer) was...man i heard the chilling words 'you have five mins left' yikkkkesss wht was tht abt? cant u understn 'technical freakin difficulties'? I got soo mad and scared. At tht point i had given up. Sheesh. Anyways all wasnt sooo bad coz we got a 'B' but im not a freakin 'B' person (ugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh) Idiot!

So there was this cruise, night ended with me cryin coz i didnt wna go anymore coz of a long blah blah story *strangles mother and father* They dont tell me I cant go, they jus make it impossible for me to go without guilt....uggggggggggh at this point in my teenage life, i despise those two ppl. I think they are out to get me, I dnt give if they are doin it coz they care..they are mean and selfish and uggggh they are tryin to ruin my already sucky social life!

Ther is a new guy :D, He is totally awesome and at first i thought he was boring, but um he's really not that bad....he quite cute and he's growing on me :D
He jus has a few bad habits that im willing to overlook.

Uhhhh I should mention an incident where i drifted apart from the guy i had liked before coz this idiot went and screwed things up. I forgive tht idiot but arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg i jus wna hit him! but i wont coz i dnt hurt ppl (well, i do but i wont coz arrrrrrg) anyways i have a strong mind to post pics of him wearing hoops...but i wont..or i might depending on how much of an ass he acts again. Geez im still mad at him, i jus realised.

This wasnt such a bad semester after all, as much as i wna drop out..i wont ;)

A terrible day

What really sucks:
-That I have so much work to do, but i left my book in my locker
-He's too much of a "guy-guy" for me!
-I don't know people's REAL intentions :(
-I'm deathly tired at the moment
-Dulce doesn't have a new video up :(

My day was terrible!
I wish tuesdays werent so long! :(
Off to bed i go

Darn, Im starting to resent sundays...Its such a lazy day. I went to school today to study, i did study but did i absorb anything? Hmmm I'm not quite sure.

Stuff that happened to me tday:
- I went on a hunger strike to punish my mother, for quarrelling very early in the morning (word to the wise: Not a brilliant idea)
- I went to use a bathroom and missed a bus outta skl.
- I fought with my sister, I won and i also deleted her off my FB and Msn.
Yep thats about it, quite a lousy day.

Im really into season six of desperate housewives, My fav characters are Lynette and Gabby!
Its such a hot season, i cant wait to find out who attacked Julie!